Look in my Eyes

Here is a pic of me today with my new hair color. Do you think it is to blonde?? Anyway add me to your list so I can start posting in there! wishuponanocean

My new ID is wishuponanocean

Well I won't be writing in this journal much anymore I made a new friends only journal.

I had an off the wall day yesturday. I got a speeding ticket, got a raise and almost got raped. Me and my sister went walking through this cave. Dee stayed on the other side and she noticed this guy that kept staring down the cave when we were going down there. Well we got out the other side and we were trying to get up this path but we realized we couldn't since it went straight up and there was all these sharp spiky vines everywhere. So anyways, we turn back and we see this guy. It is a total secluded area. We have to go past him to get back out and he totally saw us and was looking at us when we were walking up there and as we walked twoards him I noticed he had no pants on. He wasn't taking a piss his pants were not on at all. I said, "Sarah that guy is naked, let's get out of here." So we tried to go another way which was even more impossible since there were these thorny bushes which went up to our waist and was quite thick. The guy kept looking at us and we crouched down. We had to walk by him again to get back to where we couldn't get up the hill the first time. So we went back over there and then I saw he was completly naked. I said we have to get out of here. So we tried to climb up the hill but it was almost impossible. Everytime I stepped the branches would break since they were thin vines and you couldn't grab them because they were so sharp and it went strait up. Anyway the guy is yelling something to us telling us to go this other way out which would mean going right past him. No thanks. Then he puts his shorts on and starts walking twoards us. Sarah started yelling like to her "friend," "Hey we're over here." and he stopped coming twoards us. He basically blocked us so we had no where to go and I yelled. "Hey would you get away from us." He just stood there staring at us. We kept trying desperatly to get up the hill. I kept getting my hands scratched up. Sarah took off her jacket and put it over the wall of spikes and I tried to grab them and I could still feel the spikes through the jacket. And they were weak so I just couldn't pull myself up. The guy kept staring at us and Sarah said, "What the hell are you doing?" He wouldn't leave. Sarah was using my purse like a glove and trying to get up. I didn't think I was going to be able to make it up there and could maybe help Sarah get herself up so I told her. "Just go on ahead, I'll try to get past this guy." She said, "No way!!" I think the only reason he wasn't following us was because he would have got his ass cut up like we were if he tried to pursue us. Anyway I kept trying inch by inch to get up this thing. Sarah and me got totally scratched up. She got stuck since it was waist high when we got over the hill. It really sucked. Finally we got out of there and took off. My hands hurt really bad and they feel like needles pricking my skin over and over, it's numb and Sarah's leg is totally scratched up and we have white bumps where we got pricked. There must be some kind of irritant oil in the spikes or something. Yeah so we get back and it is almost dark and Dee said she was really worried about us and was almost going to go get help. Me and Sarah were talking and we both said we were scared. But I was mostly scared for her, lol, and she said she was afraid but mostly for me. When we got back Dee told us how he was staring down the cave the whole time we went down there. Then ok we walked down to where Dee was and to the end of the beach and the fucking guy comes out and starts walking twoards us. So we walked way around him to where he was far away. Fucking asshole.

Shit Dee where is that box of hair highlighting shit? It's not on the table I can't find it.

Ok here is a pic of my hair I just took, as requested by x_silent_jury_x lol. Since I just got it cut. Err.. its a little messy since I was out all day. Maybe I will take some more.



( randompics )

Stolen from some my sister. Fill it out!

1. I _______ JODY.
2. JODY is _______.
3. If I was alone with JODY, I would _________.
4. I think JODY should _________.
5. JODY needs ________.
6. I want _________ SARAH.
7. JODY is like _______.
8. Without JODY, I would ___________.
9. My favorite memory of JODY is ________.
10. JODY can be _______.
11. The best thing about JODY is _________.
12. I am ____________ with JODY.

Well another day back from work. I got my hair cut. Got a video game. I was disappointed with Lesuire Suit Larry. Not only was it to short and I beat it in like 2 days, it was pretty lame. You would have to be a guy to like this sick ass game. I don't think I am going to talk to that guy from the gas station. I have a feeling, from analyzing certain things that he's said on the phone, that he is only after one thing. So forget it! I am going to tell him I am seeing someone else. Anyways I'm eating, tty all l8ter!

Well I had a simply lovely time at the lighthouse. I don't think I have ever had a bad time there actually. It was really cool cause it was deserted and me and my mom got the whole room to ourselves. We went to a few beaches on the way before we got there. It was really foggy and stuff. Beautiful as always. I saw this really cheap wet suit at some discount store. It was the only one there but it didn't have any rips or anything. It was hard to get on and it is really hot wearing it! Some lady at the lighthouse asked if I was going to go surfing lol, I look like a surfer already! It's cool cause I was thinking about how I found that ring I always wear at the lighthouse so many years ago.

Today was really great to! We went and ate breakfast in the morning. I still can't eat anything. All I had was part of a small bowl of fruit that I couldn't finish.
Well afterwards we went walking to this one place and discovered a new beach. I named it Atlantis, lol. Since it didn't have a name. I seriously think I have a new favorite beach. The way the rocks were situated it looked like some lost city. It was absolutely breathtaking. I gasped when I first saw it. There was this one part where waves were crashing up so high and next to these two rocks I can't even discribe it. When the water would come down it would make just tons of waterfalls. The best part is there is a very small trail to get there and it was totally deserted. Ok then on the other side of the beach is this HUGE cave about 2 and a half people tall and two wide and this river was flowing out into the sea from it and the sea was crashing back into it. I went investigating. It went all the way through to the other side and looked like something out of some fantasy drawing. The whole place did as a matter of fact. My mom and I climed up this one cliff and sat up there watching these massive waves. It was so awesome.

Then on the way home we stopped by this marine sanctuary. They had a tour there but the guy was rambling on for an hour talking really fast. But I learned so much stuff I loved it! I freaking got to go by this pool and see these two dolphins. It is tiny compared to the monterey bay aquarium but they had different creatures there and a touch pool. This huge sea slug moved when I touched it, it felt so weird! The best part is it's only 5 bucks to get in and they had all these great books about the sea in the gift shop. I can't wait to take Dee! I got to touch the baleen part of a whale and they have the largest whale skeleton there in the entire world!! Here is a pic of it lit up with lights for christmas:



The place is actually a high tec marine sanctuary where these world famous scientists work. But they have an awesome discovery center. Oh here is a link to it, at the bottom you'll see a pic of this weird worm we saw there: http://seymourcenter.ucsc.edu/aquarium.html And here is a pic and map to the place: http://seymourcenter.ucsc.edu/visitor_information.html Oh yeah and in the 20's there was a shipwreck right off the coast there and you can still see the ship mast next to a cliff and it's 80 years old! I could go on and on about what I learned there but I am pretty wiped out. I found another cool place which I am sure I will visit often and take all my friends!

After that we went to my favorite Mexican resturaunt in Santa Cruz. I had one fish taco and some chips so that was good I am eating a bit more. Anyway I got to go back to the Humane Society next week and get my cat shots so come with me Dee. And if we happen to run into my favorite crush?? Whoopie for me!

Well gas station boy emailed me, check it out:

Ok here is the first one:

Hey Jody: Hope you are better with the flu that
> you
> > were having yesterday, I couldn't write you any
> > email
> > yesterday, I'm sorry, but Im here now, hey!! today
> > is
> > a nice day, if you can call me could be even
> better.

Ok then I wrote:

Im still feeling kinda icky, but I am going to the
> lighthouse today with my mom to relax. I will try to
> call you tommorow. Nice to hear from you!

Ok now check this out, this is a like little forward don't you think? He said he was going to check out my yahoo profile and stuff after I gave him my email address even though of course we met before that fateful day at the gas station:

Jody:
let me tell you that your are such a cute girl,
you have a sweet smile, have fun at the light house, I
have to work until 9pm. and I have a head ache, but
nothing big, hey send me some pics of you ok!! hey
have fun and be good!!! kisses and hugs

kisses and hugs?????? Isn't that a little much or am I just paranoid? The rest of it was nice. What's your opinion?

Yeah! I'm going to the lighthouse. I am going to dress warm since it will be cold over there. The place opens again at 4:30 for reservations. I am sure it won't be a problem since it's the winter time. I bet it will look so foggy and cooool when I get up in the morning. The Prozac is really relieving a lot of my anxiety the past couple days. I only woke up once last night. I just need to stop meeting so many rotten assholes and then my life will be so much better and more stress free. Maybe I can meet some cool people when I go volunteer or apply for school next semester. It's to bad Dee and Sarah can't come with me to the lighthouse. I am going to bring a book and relax and read. Maybe see some seals by the rocks. At least seals seem to like me, lmao. I've caught a few following me around in and out of the water.

Remember that dude that tried to pick up on me at the gas station? Well you may not all know the story. Well anyway he called me today. We talked for a while and he says he knows how to surf and he could teach me how to surf. Well anyway its just so weird he called. I dunno I really like that guy at the Humane Society. But I guess it doesn't matter, god knows if he would even like me or if he's married. Its hard for me to focus my attention on more than one person at a time. I said I was just going to date a bunch of guys and be like whatever. But it's hard for me to do that! I have to stop investing all my efforts in a bankrupt bank so to speak. I don't know, I'm being silly. I feel like guilty or something if I hang out with that guy since I have a huge crush on someone else. I am totally nuerotic or something. I don't even understand myself.

Yuck, well I have been sick for four days now and have hardly eaten anything. I had a bananna and chicken broth one day then a muffin the next day and that's it. I ate half a bowl of tomato soup today and my stomach started killing me when I tried to eat a sandwich later on. I have been having a lot of anxiety problems for like a month now. I've been waking up 3 or 4 times in the middle of the night the past 3 nights. I decided to take some prozac and I am feeling less anxious today but my stomach hurts and has been for days and I have no appetite at all. I can't think of any big reason I am stressed out. I think it just must be chemical or something.

Well anyway I stopped off on my way back from Kaiser today and picked up Lesuire Suit Larry for the PS2. Since I have almost beaten Paper Mario 2. I am on the last boss. I love playing games when I am stressed its so relaxing. Dee really likes Escape from Monkey Island. The game I was gushing about a little while ago. It was funny when she was over here we kept changing the PS2 and Gamecube since we were both playing different games.

Me and my mom might go to the Pigeon Point lighthouse tommorow. If I am feeling ok. It would be good to relax since it is so quiet and peaceful there. To bad we can't bring the cat though.

I was thinking about maybe making another journal and making it friends only since there is an awful lot of people I don't like who know my journal address. I probablly will sometime in the next two weeks. I will add all you guys I want on there so don't worry. I'll let you know. Iggg.. my stomach is hurting me so I am going to lay down. Hope you guys are all well!

Well I am really glad to be off of work. My mom is moving in with my brother Mario since he lost his job. Which is great cause she will live across the street and not next door so perhaps she will not bug me as much and I will have more privacy. However I don't want to go over there and visit her when Mario is there. And it's a stupid idea to move in with Mario and they are going to be fighting like crazy. OMG Mario left me a message and said he was getting rid of a dresser and wanted to see if I wanted it and he said, "I wanted to talk to you anyway to apologize about hurting your feelings with the cat." Ha! Forget it!

I've been under a lot of stress lately. I need a vaction. I want to go to the lighthouse and just listen to the water all night.

Oh you know another mean thing that guy, we'll call him, "Fred" another mean thing Fred did was he said he sent me something for my birthday and that I would get it in my mail on my birthday, well I still haven't got anything, 20 days later. Knowing what a liar he is now it's ovious he never sent anything! Realll nice.

I don't know what it is but I have forgiven people for, one would say worse things. But I cannot forgive Mario for being so cruel to me about my cat. I was going through a horrible time. You want to be my enemy for the rest of my life you do something to my cat. And he was insinuating an accident was somehow purposly caused by my own innate irresponsibility. Like I would ever have wanted my cat hurt, like I wouldn't have done everything in my power to prevent what happened to him when he got hurt. I just cannot find it in my heart to forgive him and I honestly think he doesn't really mean it, he is just saying it to bring peace and he probablly might need to borrow a few bucks here and there now since he lost his job.

Boy oh Boy. What to write. Well I have had a somewhat busy week. Me and Dee are redesigning the kitchen. I want it to look Japanese so we painted kanjii symbols below each handle with its english meaning. We re-did the counter tops with this tile stuff that took two days. Ugh. I should have used contact paper.

I went down to the Humane Society to drop off my money and there was this realllllly cute guy there. Completly gorgeous. He has blonde hair and the most beautiful lightest blue eyes I have ever seen! He's super nice to. I bet he has 10 kids or something! He is probablly in a long term relationship. I can't fathom him being single. Oh well I think he will be a great friend anyway! He told me I could come there every week to help out if I wanted to before my actual volunteering class which is in December. I asked for him at the front desk and this girl was all, "he's busy!" Like that and I said, oh I wanted to ask him a question. Anyway I walked with Dee so she could pick up an application and he walked out and it was so funny. He said, what was your question? And I forgot that I had said I had a question, I just wanted the lady to get him, lol. And I said, "Oh nothing, just dropping off my money." lol. So stupid. He talked to me all about volunteering and said he was glad I stopped by and was sooooo nice. He told me and Dee to look around the shelter and he said how I could come back every week to help out even if I am not volunteering. I was giggling a bit like I do when I am nervous. Whether I like someone or not I always giggle when I meet new people male or female. Sigh... If I were to imagine what I wanted my dream guy to look like it would look exactly like this guy. He'd probablly never like me even in the unlikely event he is single he is tooo dam cute!

Quiz stolen from lacunakitty

( longquiizz )

Hey you guys check out my new layout. Tell me what you think. caliscutedee619 helped me do it.

You know someone has been calling and hanging up kinda frequently for the past two weeks. There was a lot of hang-up's on my birthday so I don't think it is just a random wrong number. It's sad that I probablly couldn't even narrow down who would be doing that.

I asked Carlos if he had gotten my rent and he was talking to me and he said, you know you deserve so much better. You are such a nice person. You deserve to get anything you want and I hope you do. That was a suprise. That was pretty nice of him!

I saw that move SuperSize me. I thought it might be lame or propaganda bullshit. And like duh, you don't eat Mcdonald's that much. But it was pretty good. Then when I was at the store I walked in and noticed how the first thing I saw was just rows and rows of junk. They even had a stand of frozen bacon in the fruit department! Then when I was in line everyone was buying cookies and Doritos. And how you can win a free Shrek DVD if you buy enough chips and soda at Albertsons. Things are kinda set up to make us eat unhealthy. The guy lived in NY and he walked past 3 Mcdonalds when he walked a mile. All the commecial's and shit. I certainly don't eat well. And I think it's true you can get kinda addicted to all those sugar and carbs.

You know I am feeling a little bit better. I talked with Athena and she was saying how I shouldn't regret my time that I spent with said person. She said there is nothing wrong with caring about a person and showing your mature enough to own your own feelings. And that all you can do is learn from the experience and try not to be bitter or revengeful or feel like you wasted all your time. That it is a wonderful thing to care about someone and it is my misfortune to have met a total jerk who couldn't reciprocate. That I have nothing to be regretful about, because caring about someone and spending time talking with them and trying to help them is a noble thing. Even though I burn with total anger and bitterness and betrayal. This is a really good outlook to have. Since just cause you acted in a certain way and I have a feeling like, "this is the thanks I get" for putting up with all there bullshit drama and taking them back after they were so upset. Really I just cared about somebody. I will try to adopt this noble outlook even though I am completly bitter at the moment.

Wow it was hailing today. Quite a big deal for us native Californian-ens. I went and got Chinese food and everyone went out to the windows ooh-ing and ahh-ing. lol. Someone said wow, it looks white like snow. So sad. lol.

I'm still angry about said situation mentioned in my earlier posts. My friend Chelsie said my life's like that show Sex and the City and how every week they would date some guy and there would be something wrong with them. Since the last she heard I was going out with Jesse. This is really funny, but rather sad. Will I ever learn?

I was talking to Athena and she was very insigtful since I was asking her what she thought about what happened. She said that said person wanted someone to love them more than they wanted to love someone else, and that is why they complimented me so much and acted so crazy about me. Because really they wanted love. But expending all that energy is exausting and then they get to a point where there tired of expending all that energy and then guess who gets the backlash, me. Another interesting theroy. I always have to pop-psychologize my past relationships and figure out what happened. lol. She said that me and that guy were really different. That I take things slow and I am more normal. (her words not mine, I don't think I am quite normal at all) And that I got sucked in by his dependency and over-zealousness And that that was all he had to offer me, but that it was really in the end all about him. And he got what he wanted cause he got someone to care about HIM and that was all he wanted since he is very insecure and dependent. And then when he got it he didn't need it anymore. Like someone who is a love addict vs a sex addict.